Around the Table

  Is social anxiety a real thing?

 Have you ever been invited to a party and you really wanted to go but you did not know if you would feel out of place? I never realized that social anxiety was a thing. Perhaps that is why as a child and throughout my young adult life I felt so awkward in social situations. It is funny how we tend to look back at our life's and see truths we could not see when we were in them. Today, I find myself looking back, seeing the reality of missed opportunities because I was uncomfortable in large groups of people. Anxiety for me was a fear, a fear of the unknown. When I needed to go to a social event where I would not know people or know them well, I would worry about what I looked like or if I had on the correct outfit. There would be that heart wrenching thought, "what if nobody talked to me" and if they did, "what do I say?"

 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

 One day I realized I was missing life and began putting myself out into the world. That is not to say there were not times that I was afraid or a little shaky. When I finally opened my front door and started looking out into this beautiful world I realized that I really enjoyed meeting new people and getting to know them. All I had to do was take a step into the unknown. Yes, sometimes it was scary to go to a new place or meet new people, but it has always been worth it. By experiencing people and new situations we grow in knowledge and compassion. We learn that we are all very different yet, in many ways we are the same.

 Last night Jay and I were invited to a friends house to celebrate our wonderful friend Julie's retirement from teaching. I had never been to the host and hostess's home before nor was I sure who would be at the party. In the past this would have been very scary and difficult for me. However, last night was not.

 When we arrived to the party we were welcomed at the door by the host who lead us into his beautiful home where the honored guest stood with smiles receiving hugs and congratulations. As each guest arrived I realized that the host and hostess greeted each person as if they were the honored guest. Which made all of us feel very comfortable and welcome.

  As I looked around the room guest were beginning to gather in circles or in one on one conversations. I had just finished a conversation myself when I realized I was standing alone. In the past this would have totally freaked me out. Tonight, I just looked around to see what else was going on. Our host was giving a tour of his home. Yay! I walked right over and joined in on the tour. Nobody looked at me funny (which would have been a past fear) they just said, "Hey, do you want to go on the tour?" In reality most people are not looking at you or even thinking about you. More times than not they are in their own heads thinking their own thoughts.

 Hors d'oeuvres were passed around as we all sipped our drinks and mingled. I found myself talking with ladies I did not know very well. As we talked my heart began to soften, open, as if a gift was being given. These women were sharing their life experiences with me. Their openness made me feel honored and loved.

  As I stood among a group of ladies listening intently, our host and hostess announced that dinner was about to be served. One of the ladies set her drink down on a table and said, "This looks like a good table, lets sit here." For some reason I ended up back at the table first. So, there I was alone. For a brief moment I felt uncomfortable until my new friend came around the corner. Relieved I said, "Oh good, you're here! I was beginning to feel a little awkward at this big table all by myself." As she sat down we both laughed. Perhaps she too had felt awkward in a similar situation at one time. Maybe, by verbalizing my thoughts I opened a door.

 It was not to long and the table was full. Four women began sharing their lives. Each sharing something different yet, important to them. They were sharing things like how they met their husbands, what it was like to lose a husband and things they enjoy doing. Next thing we knew, four more women pulled up chairs and joined the circle. The conversation just got better and better as each lady seemed to enjoy the depth and openness of each word spoken. There was no gossip or criticizing. We were a group of women sharing our life experiences with one another.

 Time flew by and before we knew it, it was time for Julie to open her gifts and cut the cake. All the men gathered around the table behind their wives as we congratulated our dear friend for her years of dedication to teaching.

 What if I had let my past fears take over? There would have been no connections, no lessons learned,  no supporting a special friend, no meeting new friends or building relationships. I would have missed out on a lovely celebration and a wonderful evening. How grateful I am that my past fears are no longer holding me. If I could impart in you a small bit of encouragement on the subject of social anxiety it would be these few things. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin knowing that you are beautiful and special in your own way. There is nobody on this earth just like you. Just so you know, that makes you amazing! You know what, people are just people. We are all just going through this life doing the best we can with the tools we have. In those times, when you feel uncomfortable or afraid in a social situation do it anyway. If you don't then you may miss out on something really special or a lot of fun.

  This party reinforced my love for multi-generational relationships. Women are amazing! There is always something we can learn from someone's experiences. Take the time to sit around a table and share your lives with one another. You will be giving a gift, a very important and special gift.

ginny Taylor

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2 NIV