This is what I saw

Attending church on a Sunday morning just like each week before, standing in a row, one of many, in a room of hundreds. God spoke to me. It had been just a week or so but it seems to feel like an eternity when you just can't feel the presence of God. When you worship and fall to your knees in prayer yet you don't even hear a gentle whisper back. Then after seeking His face, He did not reveal His own. But rather, in a quick flash He says," This is what I saw" with a picture as clear in mind as if it was on my Instagram feed. Jude my first born, my son, with a sharp piercing crown of thorns set on top of his head. I was wrecked and a few tears slipped down my cheek.

Jesus was a man, he had flesh that bled, scared and ached. He was a friend, brother, son and a first born child. The suffering and death of Jesus has been depicted in movies and reenacted yearly by millions of churches. Sometimes these movies and plays can draw emotion or even a tear or two. But, it should wreck you just reading it in black and white. I admit, I have been desensitized to the gospel for years. Until my Heavenly Father made it real to me, that He put His son on that cross. The son he watched say his first word and cheered on as he took his first steps. The son he watched become a great teacher and friend. The son that wept when he saw his friends hurting and healed many others in pain. The son that prayed so anxiously in the garden that his sweat turned to blood. A good Father, set this in motion, for his first born son to die a gruesome, prolonged and painful death. Good Friday, good, holy, Friday. He was whipped 39 times with ropes adorned with lead and bone that would grab at his flesh ripping and bruising with every lash. Bound to a post and stripped of his clothing.

A dad sat and watched his little boy being tortured mercilessly to show you mercy, to show me mercy. A dad watched his first born son dripping in blood aching with every step carrying a cross to "the place of the skull". There a mother waited, watched and whaled as nails were driven into her little boys hands and feet. A mother and a Father looked upon there child's face, seeing him as the little boy whom they "lost" in Jerusalem, the carpenter, the teacher. A mother and Father looked upon their child's face as he said, "It is finished". See, with every blow of that whip, with every mock of the tongue, with every swing of the hammer, God wasn't just watching His Son, He was looking at us saying, you, you are worth it, this is how much I. LOVE. YOU.

"When his parents found him, they were amazed. His mother said, "Son why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been very worried, and we have been searching for you!" Jesus answered, "Why did you have to look for me? Didn't you know that I would be at my Fathers house?""

Luke 2: 48-49 CEV