Painting Generations

I have always loved painting and by "loved painting" I mean I have admired those who have the ability to paint. So, when I found out that for our July craft night we were going to learn how to watercolor I was naturally thrilled. I didn't however expect to have such a vivid flashback of a childhood memory that had been tucked away for years.

My family was at our home in Virginia for the summer and my mom was always looking for things to keep us busy while we were there. One summer my Grandma, who we affectionately called Dear, offered to teach me how to paint. As this memory flooded back it seemed as if I could remember every detail. We were driving down a road surrounded by large tress and forest. Pulling down a long curved drive, I see a small home tucked back in those tall trees. As the back door opens, I see a easel set up with two chairs facing toward it. To the left of the easel was a quaint kitchen and to the right there was a little eating nook complete with a table and chairs. I can almost feel the same emotion that I felt in that moment. I was so excited to be with Dear and to spend time with her. She was an incredible painter. We had several of her paintings hung in our home. I thought by the end of the day I was going to paint as beautifully as she did, or at least be on my way to some kind of likeness. My Mom said her goodbyes as Dear and I sat down in those two chairs facing the easel. Looking forward I notice her take a circle full of every color you can imagine into her hands. She looks over at me and says something along the lines of, "this is a color wheel, this is where painting starts."

By: Louis Taylor (Dear)

I can't help but smile and even laugh a little at that memory. I honestly don't know if we ever picked up a paint brush that day. I do remember the love, the time, and the patience she shared with me. I now have some of those beautiful paintings hanging in my own home. Though I didn't for a long time, now that I was reminded of such a sweet memory of her, I look at those paintings and smile. Not just a happy smile, or even a smile of remembrance, but a smile that fills my heart with all the emotion as if I were back in that kitchen, sitting in a chair facing an empty easel, next to someone feeling loved.

Once the day came to have my crash course in watercolor, I was overjoyed, but also a little nervous. Luckily, we had a wonderful teacher. She taught us step by step and was full of grace and encouragement. As she was teaching, in that very moment it all made since, why that memory seemed to pop out of nowhere. I was simply dipping my brush into a plastic cup full of water. Clear as day, impressed on my heart, "spend time with every generation you can, soak up the wisdom and invest in the young." God, God is so good. He is always working and He is always speaking to us. We just need to be still sometimes to hear it or wait a generation for it to be revealed. As I was sitting there with a paintbrush in my hand and that memory fresh on my heart. In that memory, two generations ahead of me, my Grandmother was investing in the generation to come. She didn't share the gospel with me, from what I remember we didn't even pray. But, that day she was kind, patient, loving, full of joy and goodness. Now, sitting in a room full of women representing three generations investing in one another, again I smile. Not just a smile of happiness, but a smile that fills my heart with knowing that God is at work. A confirmation that God is calling Wrinkles and Grace to exist, though we may feel unequipped at times. He has been in control and seen the vision from the time he started writing my story.

"I will teach you hidden lessons from our past stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths form our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his might wonders." Psalm 78:3

Around the Table

  Is social anxiety a real thing?

 Have you ever been invited to a party and you really wanted to go but you did not know if you would feel out of place? I never realized that social anxiety was a thing. Perhaps that is why as a child and throughout my young adult life I felt so awkward in social situations. It is funny how we tend to look back at our life's and see truths we could not see when we were in them. Today, I find myself looking back, seeing the reality of missed opportunities because I was uncomfortable in large groups of people. Anxiety for me was a fear, a fear of the unknown. When I needed to go to a social event where I would not know people or know them well, I would worry about what I looked like or if I had on the correct outfit. There would be that heart wrenching thought, "what if nobody talked to me" and if they did, "what do I say?"

 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

 One day I realized I was missing life and began putting myself out into the world. That is not to say there were not times that I was afraid or a little shaky. When I finally opened my front door and started looking out into this beautiful world I realized that I really enjoyed meeting new people and getting to know them. All I had to do was take a step into the unknown. Yes, sometimes it was scary to go to a new place or meet new people, but it has always been worth it. By experiencing people and new situations we grow in knowledge and compassion. We learn that we are all very different yet, in many ways we are the same.

 Last night Jay and I were invited to a friends house to celebrate our wonderful friend Julie's retirement from teaching. I had never been to the host and hostess's home before nor was I sure who would be at the party. In the past this would have been very scary and difficult for me. However, last night was not.

 When we arrived to the party we were welcomed at the door by the host who lead us into his beautiful home where the honored guest stood with smiles receiving hugs and congratulations. As each guest arrived I realized that the host and hostess greeted each person as if they were the honored guest. Which made all of us feel very comfortable and welcome.

  As I looked around the room guest were beginning to gather in circles or in one on one conversations. I had just finished a conversation myself when I realized I was standing alone. In the past this would have totally freaked me out. Tonight, I just looked around to see what else was going on. Our host was giving a tour of his home. Yay! I walked right over and joined in on the tour. Nobody looked at me funny (which would have been a past fear) they just said, "Hey, do you want to go on the tour?" In reality most people are not looking at you or even thinking about you. More times than not they are in their own heads thinking their own thoughts.

 Hors d'oeuvres were passed around as we all sipped our drinks and mingled. I found myself talking with ladies I did not know very well. As we talked my heart began to soften, open, as if a gift was being given. These women were sharing their life experiences with me. Their openness made me feel honored and loved.

  As I stood among a group of ladies listening intently, our host and hostess announced that dinner was about to be served. One of the ladies set her drink down on a table and said, "This looks like a good table, lets sit here." For some reason I ended up back at the table first. So, there I was alone. For a brief moment I felt uncomfortable until my new friend came around the corner. Relieved I said, "Oh good, you're here! I was beginning to feel a little awkward at this big table all by myself." As she sat down we both laughed. Perhaps she too had felt awkward in a similar situation at one time. Maybe, by verbalizing my thoughts I opened a door.

 It was not to long and the table was full. Four women began sharing their lives. Each sharing something different yet, important to them. They were sharing things like how they met their husbands, what it was like to lose a husband and things they enjoy doing. Next thing we knew, four more women pulled up chairs and joined the circle. The conversation just got better and better as each lady seemed to enjoy the depth and openness of each word spoken. There was no gossip or criticizing. We were a group of women sharing our life experiences with one another.

 Time flew by and before we knew it, it was time for Julie to open her gifts and cut the cake. All the men gathered around the table behind their wives as we congratulated our dear friend for her years of dedication to teaching.

 What if I had let my past fears take over? There would have been no connections, no lessons learned,  no supporting a special friend, no meeting new friends or building relationships. I would have missed out on a lovely celebration and a wonderful evening. How grateful I am that my past fears are no longer holding me. If I could impart in you a small bit of encouragement on the subject of social anxiety it would be these few things. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin knowing that you are beautiful and special in your own way. There is nobody on this earth just like you. Just so you know, that makes you amazing! You know what, people are just people. We are all just going through this life doing the best we can with the tools we have. In those times, when you feel uncomfortable or afraid in a social situation do it anyway. If you don't then you may miss out on something really special or a lot of fun.

  This party reinforced my love for multi-generational relationships. Women are amazing! There is always something we can learn from someone's experiences. Take the time to sit around a table and share your lives with one another. You will be giving a gift, a very important and special gift.

ginny Taylor

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2 NIV

Don't Let The Old Girl In

 Have you ever found yourself wondering about age? Has the word old or older become part of your description of self ? What is old anyway?

 Webster says, Old is Ancient, of long standing, Distinguished from an object of the same kind by an earlier date, having existed for a specified period of time, advanced in years or age, showing characteristics of age, Experienced, Former, showing the effects of time, worn, aged, no longer in use Discarded like old rags, Tiresome

 Adjectives of old according to Webster, being in advanced years and especially past middle age

 Synonyms: aged, aging, ancient, elderly, geriatric, long-lived, older, over-the-hill, senescent, senior, unyoung

 Related words: centenarian, nonagenarian, octogenarian, septuagenarian, sexagenarian, oldish, adult, grown-up, mature, middle-aged, pensioned, retired, superannuated, matriarchal, patriarchal, venerable, decrepit, doddering, senile, spavined, tottery, over aged

 Oh, my! That is a lot of words referring to old. So what do you think? Is old knocking at your door?

 One day while looking in the mirror I saw a new person. Her face had changed." Woe! How did that happen? When did that happen? Did I miss something? Where is that 30 year old face?" I found myself manipulating my face by pulling the now loose skin that has gathered at my jaw line up towards my ears. As the realization hit me I froze. I began analyzing every millimeter of my face. My eyes stared back at me, one had become lazier than it had ever before and seemed to be asleep at the wheel. Then I smiled into my reflection, "Well hello you!" 

 Had I really thought that my face would never change? In all honesty, I thought my face would always be the same. I had never given a thought to the possibility that I would see an older face in the mirror and it would belong to me. You know how a teenager thinks they are invincible? I guess I always thought age would never touch me.

 The age question kind of hit me hard this spring, it sent me into a huge realization and analyzation of self. Which was a hard process to go though but also a very good one. I'm grateful for that time of refection, actualization and growth. In that time I began wondering how others felt about age. Recently I asked family and friends questions about their thoughts and or feelings on age. I hope you well be encouraged and inspired as you read some of the responses to the Question of Old. 

 I  began my exploration of old by Face Timing my seven year old grandson Jude. "Hello Jude, I would like to ask you a question. What do you think makes a person old?" His first response was that he did not know but after a moment of processing he came back with, " White hair!" I then asked, "I'm I old?" he said, "Yes!" Trying not to laugh too hard I asked him if he thought his mom was old. Jude replied with an emphatic, " No, her hair is gray. She's not old." At this point I am dying, trying not to break out in a full blown laugh attack. "Hey Jude, is Jay old?" Jude says matter of fact, "Yes! He has white hair."

  Gray hair is a glorious crown worn by those who have lived right. Proverbs 16:31 CEV

  Recently a 37 year old was asked, When, if ever have you felt like you were getting old? His reply was, "This year. While fishing a long weekend off shore and over night I realized I need to start doing something. My body did not handle the trip like it use to."

 The glory of men is their strength, grey hair the splendor of the old. Proverbs 20:29 NIV

 I have two friends who have both had a heart attack in their 60's one male and the other female. I asked both of them the same question. "Have you had a time in your life when you felt like you were getting older?" I knew for sure they would say after my heart attack. My mistake, they both said," no." I said, "Really, not even after your heart attack?" they both said, "no". I found this very interesting. Then I remembered going through some pretty scary health things in my own life. I was not thinking about age at the time I was thinking about, how to get better, stay better and move on.

 Two women in their late 70's, were asked this same question at separate times. However their reactions were the same. "You know Ginny, I just don't think about it." My response was, " And that's why you are so young." These responses were not too, far from my husbands answer which was, "It's all about attitude."

 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10 NIV

 While swimming in the pool with Isla who is three I asked, "Isla when do you think a person is old?" She got so excited, "Old! I will be old when I am six! "She was so happy and smiling, "I'll be Old, like Jude!" Don't you just love this. The excitement of a child to grow another year older.

 A man now 78 was asked," Have you ever felt like you were getting older?" I did not get a short answer to this question. I got a very wise answer with a lot of prospective yet in the end he said,"For me it was when I was 47, I came to realize I was middle aged, things had gotten hard financially and I had a wife and children to care for and provide for."

 At 32, a women had just gone through postpartum and found out she was pregnant again. The hospital bills were adding up after having two babies so close together. There was a moment when she thought,"Wow, I'm a mommy and wife with major responsibility's. I'm getting old."  

 While a 34 year old looks in the mirror and is disappointed in herself because she can see the effects of all those years she spent in the sun with no sun screen ."You know, now I take good care of my skin, but I wish I would have done a better job when I was younger."

 At 59 with 60 knocking on her door, I ask, "Do you ever think your getting older?" She responded  in laughter. "Yes! I look in the mirror and say, 'Who are you? You are not me! What happened?'" 

  While having dinner with friends I asked the question ,"Have you ever felt like you were getting older? "One of the ladies had just lost her mother. Sadly she said,"Yes, Now that my Mom has passed away their is the reality that I am now the matriarch of the family."

 Another friend responded, "When I realized, when the next baby arrives in our family my daughter will be a grandmother and I will be a great grandmother."

 As we went around the table each giving their response to the question of age, the oldest gentlemen in the group says, "You did not ask me?" I smiled. "That is because I already know your answer." He says, "You do?" "I believe so, but please tell us your secret." Smiling he answers, "I don't let the Old Man in".
 I have been watching this 83 year old man out perform all of us for several years now. He does it all, paddle boarding, walking, skiing, taking care of boats and houses and so much more. This man definitely does not act old. I believe it's because he does not let that old man in by staying active, he is happier and looks younger.

Don't Let The Old Man In by Toby Keith

 We all age and as each year passes we hope we are wiser and pray we are healthy both mentally and physically. Yet if life throws us a curve ball, which it will, we have the choice whether or not to "let the old man or women in."

 May the gray hair and wrinkles in life bring you wisdom and grace,

Ginny Taylor