2 Corinthians 12:9
Well then, let me start bragging. I am weak. I have two toddlers and they suck the life out of me. I try so hard to parent from a place of love and grace, but y'all I fall hourly. This is not my first go at toddlers, I have already raised two. They are now almost 7 and 12, Jude and Avery. Yet, for some reason, we wanted to do this again.
I know how blessed I am, don't get me wrong. It took us time and was a struggle to have our first two babies, miscarriage and all. God is good and He has fulfilled my life more than I ever dreamt for myself. The reality is however, no one really warns you about toddlers, they say "terrible twos" or "just wait until" but, no one is really honest with you.
It's like when your pregnant. Everyone tells you how beautiful you are, how beautiful the experience will be and how you will bond with your spouse, there is no other love like it... But, no one really tells you about birth and the aftermath. Yep, it's the same with toddlers. It is a short season and you forget how challenging it was so, you do it again, then wonder why.
All jokes aside, it truly is a testing time for parents. I have read the books, blogs and listened to podcast. I understand it's best to parent through consistency, boundaries and grace. My husband and I do just that, the very best that we can manage. We parent through three consistent principles. First, Philippians 2:3 "Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves." The last two are simply two words, honor and honesty. All the other rules and boundaries fall under those three ideals.
The problem and inconsistency isn't with the parenting it's self but rather, with the parent. I give my children grace but I refuse to give it to myself. Heck, I give them a timeout, yet I feel guilty for giving myself any time out. I am confident that I am imperfect and I know full well that I will always fall short. For some reason, I still try to pretend that I am, I still set the bar at perfect and try to reach it. Then when I can't, I'm surprised.
My three year old daughter, Isla Jayne, is testing boundaries. She is trying to figure out how far she can wonder on her own. She is curious about making messes and if she will have to clean it. She is pushing boundaries with her siblings, wondering if she will get caught or in trouble. She is discovering that her voice has different tones and that words can have different meanings with those tones. All of these things, boundaries, curiosities and discoveries are important for this age. However, it can become almost impossible to remember that when in the moment of it all. When you want to pull your hair out, because you never want to hear the words "I'll do it" or "I don't want to" again.
You don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be perfect, I don't even have to pretend to be perfect. I can not do this on my own. My husband and I can not do this on our own. It takes a village but the village doesn't sit up at night in worry about whether you're doing okay, if your kids are going to be good people or not. Right there, in that thought, God. God is perfect, God does love and want your kids to grow into good people.
I get so wrapped up in my daughters "acting out" that I fail to realize that I too am pushing boundaries. I am constantly seeing how far I can go without my Father. I get curious if I can clean up my own messes and tell Him that I can "do it myself". Maybe though, that is growth in our faith, maybe it's important. See, we need to be reminded of how much we need God. When people say "God won't give you more than you can handle" its a big, fat lie. If God never gave us more than we could handle why would we need faith. Even so, if God doesn't give us more than we can handle there is a real enemy out there, we are fighting a spiritual battle daily. More than ever, Christians are fighting against society and this new moral compass of frankly, no morals. I could go off on a long tangent about that one, maybe another time though.
Bottom line, I have been given grace beyond measure. My toddlers push and it is a very hard season, I will continue to get frustrated and I will probably cry. But, I am not alone. My husband and I aren't doing this on our own strength, we don't have it. His power is great in my great weakness. He is a God of mercies and a God of comfort. So, I will boast about his mercy in my frustration and I will brag about His comfort when I cry. His gift of undeserved grace is all I need. My prayer in this, is that my children are witnesses to that grace and those mercies. My toddlers may be learning boundaries and discovering their voice, my hope is that they unintentionally learn grace.
Then they become teenagers...
Rachel Batey
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