Someday

Have you ever spent hours even days on a project?

Have you ever felt like God was asking you to do something?

Have you ever felt God's calling?

Have you ever obeyed him & spent hours doing what he asks of you?

What happens when you are almost finished and he says,

"delete"?

This is a photograph of the beginning of the second sculpture I ever made. I had taken no classes on sculpting at the time. I had however, read a couple books on the topic.
The Lord brought this sculpture to my mind this morning as he was telling me very loudly, " delete everything you wrote on the blog yesterday." Of course my reaction was," What! You had me up all night speaking to me and the next day I spent all day researching and writing our next post." The Lord told me again. "Delete it, do not save it, delete it." This morning I obeyed and deleted the whole thing.

"Finally, brothers and sisters whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Do you ever find yourself questioning God and asking him why?
Perhaps, like me, God is teaching you. All that work that I deleted this morning was for my knowledge, it was God teaching me, molding me.

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:16-17
spoke to my heart and here I am a day later with a memory to share with you.

Several years ago, I had the desire to sculpt. I bought some clay and began. What an incredible experience. My hands moved over the clay as if God was moving them. The feel, the touch, the solid wet malleable' substance within and beneath my hands, were moving as if magic.

When I am creating most often I am praying. I feel God's presence while I work. I also know that if it were not but by his grace there would be no works by Ginny Taylor.

This sculpture was to be of my son in law Josh. After Josh had seen my first sculpture he was very kind and encouraging, he asked me if I would sculpt him. I cannot tell you how flattered I was that he really thought I could do that. I did not have that same confidence.  Like God says," All things are possible to those who trust me." So trust I did. Without hesitation I jumped right in and started the process of sculpting Josh. The first step was to study Josh's face, to take measurements and a lot photos. He was a real trooper though all of that. Once I had the photos developed and on hand I brought out the clay. I started pushing clay and praying to the Lord, "Move my hands Lord, may I be a vessel, will you do your work through me Lord? " We moved clay together. I never felt alone. With each push of the clay feeling God's presence, we would add clay and take pieces of clay away. Just like he did with me the night before last, giving me a word and yesterday, asking me to delete them and again today as I share a piece of myself with you. The lord is always moving in our lives and shaping us into the person he wants us to be.

When my sculpture was finish I could not believe it, it really did look a lot like Josh.
I thanked God for how this sculpture turned out. I knew I could not have made this sculpture without His hands guiding me.

It took several hours over many days to create this sculpture and I loved every minute of the process. It was a time of refection, learning and molding of myself. I felt God was showing me how he works, his process of molding us. This was important to me because I learn by touch. You could tell me one hundred times how God molds us, reveals scripture after scripture and I might not fully understand. While going through the process of actually shaping, molding and creating something has given me a whole new level of understanding.

I will have to say when it was time to show my family I was nervous. That thing called self, crept in, scared of failure, disappointment, self doubt. I started questioning.,"Would they like it?  Did it really resemble Josh?" After the wonderful process I had just been through "self" had to jump in and try to still my joy. This time I did not let it, thank goodness.  

Josh seemed pretty happy with the outcome, he even let me take photos of him with the sculpture. All was good. I was overjoyed with what God had created through me.

Then the unthinkable thing happened. While showing the rest of the family the sculpture I turned my easel and the sculpture fell to the floor. All of my hard work was squashed. Everyone's mouth fell open as they watched the sculpture hit the floor. I was in shock. I simply looked down and then walked out of the room. Everyone was saying things like," Oh Ginny we are so sorry." I said, " It's OK, it's not your fault, it was mine. I was not aware that could happen. I'm just learning sculpting, I should have been more careful." At that moment I told the family I would be right back. 

I then turned and went back into the studio. The Lord told me to pick up the sculpture, saying

"Just like I am not finished with you, you are not finished with this sculpture." I picked up the sculpture, placed it on back on the easel and I spent the rest of the evening being loved by family.

After my family had left that evening I thought about the squished sculpture on the floor and was reminded of how much God had thought me. 

The next morning I revisited that sculpture. It was not the sculpture I thought I had created for Josh anymore. It was the sculpture God used in teaching me. All that time I spent sculpting thinking that I was making a sculpture for someone else, while God was molding me, showing me He loves me, He can use me and that He created me just like I created that sculpture. 

As I looked at the squished face on the sculpture I began a new process, of taking away the old so it could one day be made new again.

I saved as much of the face us I could. Then I let the sculpture dry for a few days. Once it was dry enough I hollowed the sculpture out. This is done so that the sculpture can dry properly and hopefully will not blow up when fired. A couple months later I took it to the art center and had it fired twice. Then this sculpture sat untouched for three years. I would walk by it from time to time and wonder how God would have me make this sculpture whole again?

While waiting, I was in a wonderful book club/bible study with some fabulous women, learning more about God's word. In this time of study I was journaling more than normal, after all, writing words and drawing pictures is a tactile process of learning. It was a wonderful experience. I saved this journal not knowing it would be used in a future sculpture.

During the waiting time I was also collecting things. Collecting is not unusual for me, I'm always collecting pieces for a future project. 

The time had come, to bring out the broken sculpture and make it whole again.

First, I needed to paint him flesh color. Then he needed a platform, next came the hair. Remember, this sculpture was missing half of his head.

I believe God was making room for those words and pictures I took down while journaling in my book club/bible study. I placed some of those pages inside of the sculpture's head.

All of the pieces came next. One by one they were connected, each one having it's purpose.
When all was said and done the sculpture had no name. I felt each person should be allowed to form their own interpretation.
Looking on it now I wonder if I should have called it "Complete? Yet I think not, for are any of Gods creations ever complete?"

"Until now you have not asked anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete". John 16:24

'No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.' 1 John 4:12